How to Feel More Confident and Comfortable Giving Oral Sex

Let’s be honest - oral sex can feel intimidating.
You might worry about how you look, taste, smell, or whether you’re “doing it right.” But here’s the truth: most partners care way more about your enthusiasm and connection than perfect technique. So instead of stressing about new tricks, let’s focus on feeling more comfortable, confident, and in control when you’re going down.

Step 1: Prep That Feels Sexy, Not Stressful

Feeling clean and fresh can take a lot of anxiety off your mind and let you enjoy the moment.

• Keep intimate wipes nearby so you or your partner can do a quick, light refresh before oral. It's simple, discreet, and can become part of the foreplay instead of a chore.
  
  
• Turn “getting ready” into something playful - shower together, wipe each other down, or tease them while you clean up. When prep is flirty, not awkward, your confidence rises.
  
  
• If taste is a hang-up for you, grab a flavored lubricant so you can focus more on pleasure and less on overthinking.

You are not on stage, and this is not an exam.

• Swap “I have to impress them” for “We’re exploring this together.” That mindset shift alone releases so much pressure.
  
  
• Take your time. Pause to kiss, make eye contact, or talk dirty. Those little breaks help your jaw, your nerves, and your connection. Try X On the Lips flavored lip balm that adds a tingle wherever your kisses land.
  
  
• If deep-throating or certain positions hurt, you don’t have to do them. You can still give amazing oral without pushing past your own comfort. Your pleasure matters too. A helper toy like this male pleasure stroker can share some of the workload so your mouth isn't doing everything at once.
  

Step 3: Choose Positions That Love Your Body Back

Confidence is a lot easier to access when your body doesn’t hurt.

Try positions that support your neck, jaw, and back - like having them sit on the edge of the bed while you kneel on a pillow, lying on your side, or using stacked pillows to prop yourself up. This Inflatable Positioner would come in handy.

• If you’re giving oral to a penis, Triple Silicone Performance Rings can help maintain firmness, which means less frantic movement and more relaxed, steady pleasure.
  
  
• For vulva owners, a dab of Lust Intense Vibrating Orgasm Gel for Women can heighten sensitivity so your partner feels more with less effort on your part.

When your body feels supported, your confidence has room to show up.

Step 4: Let Products Take Some Pressure Off

You do not have to do it all with just your tongue and lips.

• Flavored gels like GoodHead that also helps the gag reflex or tasty HandiPop hand job massage gel can make it easy to use your hands and mouth together with extra glide, flavor, and fun.
  
  
• Focus your mouth on the most sensitive areas while your hands, stroker, or toy help with the rest. It’s still intimate, still personal, and so much less exhausting.
  
  
• Think of these products as your tag team, not competition. They’re there to support your confidence and comfort.

Step 5: Talk About What You Need to Feel Confident

Confidence doesn’t magically appear - it grows when you feel safe, heard, and respected.

• Before or after, say something like: “I really like going down on you, and I feel even better when we use lube / change positions / take our time - want to try that next time?”
  
  
• Ask your partner what helps them relax: dimmer lights, music, more kissing first, or a quick wipe-down together. Their comfort feeds your confidence, too.
  
  
• Make sure your pleasure is part of the plan. Maybe you trade oral, add mutual masturbation, or bring in a toy so you’re not just the giver.

Step 6: Let It Be Playful, Not Perfect

The most unforgettable oral sex is usually a little messy, a little silly, and very connected.

• Laugh if something awkward happens. Sexy and goofy can absolutely coexist.
  
  
• Try new combinations: Lust Intense gel plus oral on a vulva, a stroker plus your mouth on a penis, or flavored lube plus both hands.
  
  
• Take the guesswork out with a fun dice game - roll to discover playful body parts, activities, and durations for oral foreplay or oral itself. It’s a fun way to build anticipation without overthinking, and it turns oral into a game where you both win.
  
  
• Give yourself permission to stop, change things up, or try again another time. Confidence grows from honoring your limits, not ignoring them.

Bottom line: You don’t need to be a porn star to be amazing at oral - you just need to be present, kind to your body, and open to using tools that make everything more comfortable and fun.

Ready to feel more confident giving oral? Explore a wide assortment of arousal and oral pleasure helpers and more at The Flirtation Station - your safe space for learning, laughing, and leveling up your pleasure.